


Wingless

by timelordangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, I wrote this for somebody, cas is having a rough time, comforting!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-06
Updated: 2013-11-06
Packaged: 2017-12-31 17:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1034423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timelordangel/pseuds/timelordangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'd really like to see Castiel break down, and I know I'm not the only one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wingless

The door swung open with a sharp jingle from the bells strung on the handle. Dean walked in slowly, glancing around the small shop like he wasn't sure he wanted to be there at all. He slunk between the shelves, dragging his feet over dirty tile and running a hand through his hair.

“Dean?” A familiar voice asked from behind him.

“Hey, Cas.” Dean turned and couldn’t help the grin spreading across his face.

“You came.” Cas gave a small, planned smile.

“Said I would. How’re you doing, Cas?” Dean eyed Cas’ hideous blue vest. “I mean, you look great. Nice getup.” Dean flicked the nametag with his index finger before quickly pulling his arms back to his chest.

Cas tilted his head slightly before saying, “I’m a sales associate.”

“A sales associate? A little over qualified for that, man.” Dean smirked, but the tone reflected in Cas’ eyes gave the impression that some subjects shouldn’t be joked about. “Hey, I’m sorry. I’m impressed you found a job, not really something I’ve ever done right.”

“Hunting is a difficult job, but being a sales associate results in more money. And,” Cas paused, “Health insurance benefits.”

“Sounds great, Cas, really.” Dean said with another forced smile. “We miss you back home.”

It was a sensitive subject to breach, but Dean had to assuage the guilt gnawing at his entire being somehow, and right now words were the only way he could communicate with Cas. In the following silence, one or both of them realized they were standing in the middle of a Gas n’ sip having a conversation that was verging on uncomfortable, and neither had and any idea what to say.

“Perhaps we should go somewhere else.” Cas nodded towards the door.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t employees, ya know, have to stay in the store?” Dean pressed his lips together.

“Officially, my shift ended an hour and fifteen minutes ago.” Cas glanced at the clock on the wall as if he was still getting used to using it.

“Woah, why the hell are you still here?” Dean instantly worried that Cas didn’t understand how the system worked or the boss was working him overtime as punishment for being ill-informed on the ways of ordinary humans-

“I have nowhere else to be.” Cas said, correcting Dean's fears with a straight, apathetic face. “But if you’d like, we could leave now.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, putting a hand on Cas’ shoulder, “Let’s get out of here.”

Dean wasn’t exactly sure where he was driving. Cas had been looking out the passenger seat window for the past twenty minutes, and the light rain splattering the windshield made the brakes squeal underneath them.

If anything, he was aiming for the closest all-night diner, but only banks and closed restaurants littered the area,and besides, the silence in the car was a good stab at comfortable. When the rain picked up, Dean eventually decided the Denny’s with a burnt out sign was the best option they’d find and didn't bother turning on his blinker as he pulled into the deserted parking lot from the equally as empty road.

“Well, it’s cheap breakfast food or nothing.” Dean said as he turned the key, looking over at Cas. “Hey, you alright?”

Cas hesitated before turning to look at Dean, his eyes red even in the fading daylight. Dean felt his heart seize as it registered and he helplessly reached out his hand, unsure what to do.

“Is it human,” Cas paused with his teeth on his bottom lip, fighting back something, “to feel so hopeless?”

“Being human sucks.” Dean said softly.

“I did not mean to lock out the angels from Heaven, but it was my fault. I did not mean to be disloyal, but in the end, I did choose to disobey.” Cas put his head in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. “I am sorry, Dean. It was foolish of me to ever wonder why you wanted me gone. I’ve known all along.”

“Hey, that’s not the reason. We’re all suffering, don’t try to make me feel guilty for doing somebody else’s dirty work.” Dean glowered.

“You already feel guilty, I don’t need to do that for you.” Cas growled through a choked voice. “If you think I wish anything upon you that would hurt you, you’re wrong.”

“You’re not alone here, Cas.”

“Alone is all I am,” Cas said as if he had more to say, but the following silence was busy filling itself with storm clouds, swirling in Cas’ mind. His features crumbled in the darkness and his chest heaved, his entire frame shaking.

“That’s not true,” Dean’s heart pounded in his chest at the sight of Cas breaking down. “Cas-“

Cas screamed, loud and deep, but painfully broken in tone. Dean couldn’t help but think it was more appropriate for an angel to scream than to cry, but the man sitting beside him was no longer an angel, not anymore.

His screams echoed with the thunder, loud and crashing around them, and the rain pounding on the Impala couldn’t drown out the cries. Cas screamed like he was giving up everything left in him; he screamed like he still wished his voice could shatter the windows of the Impala and he could still kill with just a touch. Eventually, his screams morphed into uncontrollable sobs, his entire body doubled over on himself.

Cas tried uselessly to compose himself, pulling his elbows off his legs and turning to Dean, but tears poured down his cheeks from the corners of his eyes and his hands trembled as they gripped onto the fabric of his jeans. “It’s all my fault. I destroyed Heaven. I hurt you.”

“Don’t,” Dean said worriedly, but glad Cas had calmed down enough to talk, “It’s not your fault. Even if it is, you can be forgiven. I forgive you.” Dean argued for a second in his mind before declaring, screw it, I’m giving up personal boundaries here. He slid across the bench seat and put a hand on Castiel’s cheek, looking him in the watery eyes.

“I can’t do this.” Cas choked, tears falling onto the back of Dean’s hand. “I can’t.”

Dean said nothing as he pulled Cas into his arms and rested his head on Cas’ shoulder. “Hey there.” Dean breathed as he adjusted Cas’ legs around his waist. “You don’t have to do this alone. I know it’s hard. I know you’re scared.”

Cas’ fingers clawed into the back of Dean’s jacket, his face buried in the curve of Dean’s neck. Dean attempted to hold Cas still as the latter shook with sobs, soft whimpers and heavy, fast breaths.

“Can I come home?” Cas whispered roughly into Dean’s ear.

“Cas,” Dean didn’t hesitate, wrapping his arms tighter around the button down shirt Cas wore. Right now, he wasn't thinking about what could or would happen. Right now, he needed Cas, and Cas needed him, and that was the beginning and end of everything. And so with a lack of his own composure, he said the only thing he wanted to say.

“Of course.”


End file.
